Prior to the ironic 2000s, most of us would have never dreamed of going out in public wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. Sure, they were okay for elderly school teachers and Clark Griswold, but not for the rest of us.
Today, ugly Christmas sweaters are as ubiquitous to the holiday season as cookie swaps, complaining about commercialism and decking the halls. And ugly Christmas sweater parties—well, they’re just as rampant. Even here in Brevard County.
What? You’ve never been to an ugly Christmas sweater party? No worries. You can start this year. A number of bars and other Space Coast hangouts are hosting fug-fests during the next couple of weekends. Here are the ones we dug up:
Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest and Karaoke Party
Crickets Spirits, Sports & Food
1942 North Wickham Road, Melbourne
Sat. Dec. 15 at 6 p.m.
Ugly Christmas Sweater Show
House of Joe
1220 West New Haven Avenue, West Melbourne
Sat. Dec. 15 at 8 p.m.
5th Annual Ugly Sweater Party
JD’s Sports Bar and Grill
1644 South Fiske Blvd., Rockledge
Sat. Dec. 22 at 10 p.m.
End of the World & Ugly Sweater Christmas Party
United Ride Shop
5240 N. Atlantic Ave. #100, Cocoa Beach
Fri. Dec. 21 at 8 p.m.
Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest
Tip A Few Tavern and Bistro
6890 N. Atlantic Ave., Cape Canaveral
Sun. Dec. 23
Now go dig around the back of your closet. You’re sure to find a
horrible piece of crap lovely woolen treasure from Christmasses past. And if not, just check your local thrift store. We hear they are a veritable goldmine of tacky tops.
If you hear of any other ugly Christmas sweater parties happening in Brevard this season, post a comment or send us the details. We’ll be sure to update our list!
Happy holidays! May your sweaters be soft, warm and oh so atrocious.